This is new to me

I have been reading other blogs and realize that this might be the method I need to return to where I need to be.  I'll back up a bit - in highschool I was a writer.  I wrote journals and poems and books.  My writing saved me from failing biology in Grade 10 (I covered the exam in poems about biology - I guess I knew enough to pass...).  Fellow students and my teachers wanted to read my writing, it was great!  But then something happened - I joined the Reserves and that seemed to stop my writing.  I floundered and then went dry.  It's bothered me for over 20 years.  20 years.  20 years of not really writing, of trying and then failing.  It makes me unhappy, it makes me angry.  I want to write, I want ME back and ME is tied up with my writing.  I miss the friends from my writing.  I miss the dreams I had regarding my writing.  Travelling the world, living in other countries, and writing.  I see friends who have pursued the writing profession and are succeeding, and I am jealous and it makes me more upset.  Plus, all the writings from highschool are gone.  I gave them to a friend to read and then he moved and took them with him and then threw them out.  He threw out my writings.  Why did I do that?  Why did I trust a portion of my soul to someone?  What was I thinking?  So here I am, coming on to age 40, and my current inability to write to my satisfaction makes me brittle and angry with everyone and everything.  Writing is soothing to my soul, it gets the anger and frustrations out, it makes life easier to deal with because there is an outlet for everything.  I love writing.  I love creating other worlds, other lives, and other people's stories.  I miss it, and I hope that by blogging I may be able to return that portion of me to myself.